MICHAEL PARKER & SUSAN PARKER'S
Plays produced by special arrangement with Samuel French, Inc.
The Los Angeles Times 12-18-18
Newport Theatre Arts Center Awards
Best Production "The Amorous Ambassador"
Runner up "Lend Me A Tenor" by Ken Ludwig
SF page link
"Hormone" Harry's Back In Town
“Hormone” Harry Douglas (From THE SENSUOUS SENATOR) is back to his old shenanigans again, but this time as the American Ambassador to Great Britain. He tells his wife Lois, that he has arranged a golf outing in Scotland for the weekend. Lois in turn tells Harry that she too will be gone for the weekend at a spa, and that their daughter Debbie will be gone visiting a girlfriend. Each then tells Perkins, their newly hired butler in their country home, of their plans. He stoically watches as each of them leave for the weekend.
SO…Where’s the farce?
Harry, secretly returns to the empty house, having planned a romantic rendezvous with a sexy, next door neighbor Marianne. This is no ordinary rendezvous as they plan to act out their fantasies, she a French maid and Harry as Tarzan. - Debbie returns with her boyfriend Joe, believing they have the house to themselves for the whole weekend. - Harry’s secretary, Faye Baker, and Captain South of the U.S. Marine Corps arrive in the wake of a bomb threat at the embassy, and must set-up embassy communications in Harry’s country home. Captain South places a squad of marines around the perimeter, and everybody is sealed in. It soon becomes apparent, that Faye was not hired for her secretarial abilities.
PERKINS: Are you all right miss?
FAYE: I guess so. I shouldn’t let Mr. Douglas upset me.
PERKINS: What are we talking about?
FAYE: He’s always making comments about me. I pretend not to notice, but I know he thinks I’m kind of dumb.
PERKINS: What sort of comments?
FAYE: Well, yesterday he yelled at me just because I thought the Gettysburg address was where Lincoln lived.
PERKINS: Oh dear!
FAYE: Then he said my intellect underwhelmed him.
PERKINS: Oh dear!
FAYE: Then he suggested I hold a séance to see if it was possible to make contact with my brain.
Not farcical enough?
Harry hears Debbie talking to someone in her room and asks who it is. After a moment’s hesitation, Debbie comes up with a brilliant idea and says, “It’s my girlfriend Josephine.” Joes now spends the rest of the play in and out of drag. To make matters worse, Hormone Harry becomes infatuated with Josephine, Captain South believes he is hot on the trail of a mad bomber, and accident prone Faye, comes close to destroying Great Britain. Meanwhile, Perkins manages to get his tie caught in Debbie’s jacket zipper, leaving his head between her ..you know where, and his hand super-glued to Faye’s derriere.
HARRY: What are you doing with my secretary?
PERKINS: Your secretary sir?
HARRY: My secretary, Miss Baker.
PERKINS: Ah, yes, Miss Baker. The fact is sir, she was helping me.
HARRY: And why do you need my secretary’s help?
PERKINS: I’ve only been here two weeks sir, and I’m still- (He looks at his right hand as Faye gives a wiggle.)- feeling my
way around. And in any event, I got a little behind in my work.
HARRY: A little behind in your work?
PERKINS: Yes sir, the fact is, right now, I seem to have my hands full.
Need more twists and turns?
In a normal farce, all this would probably be enough, but this is a Michael Parker play, which you know all have a surprising twist and turn at the end. Does the imperturbable Perkins find romance? Does Lois return for a weekend tryst of her own?
Scripts available from Samuel French, Inc. catalogue #3517
HARRY DOUGLAS: (Age 45-65) A former U.S. Senator, now the U.S. Ambassador to Britain. A philanderer and woman chaser, he usually manages to smooth-talk his way out of compromising situations. (Suave, elegant, good looking.)
PERKINS: (Age 50+) The quintessential butler. A pivotal character around whom most of the circumstantial humor seems to occur. He remains "oh so British", never cracks a smile and always seems to be in control. (Controlled, competent, dry wit)
JOE: (Age 20-30) Joe's great misfortune in life is that his girlfriend (Debbie) is the Ambassador's daughter. He is caught up in a whirlwind of events, and never seems to understand how he has got into such a mess. He spends a good portion of the play in a dress and wig, pretending to be Debbie's girlfriend, Josephine, or fighting off the advances of 'The Amorous Ambassador'. ( Naive, likeable)
CAPTAIN SOUTH: (Age 25-45) The Marine Corps officer in charge of embassy security. He is a total incompetent, who spends his time searching for a non-existent 'mad bomber', when he is not being knocked out, hit by doors, etc. (Incompetent, serious, athletic)
DEBBIE: (Age 20-25) The Ambassador's daughter, always quick thinking and keeping one step ahead of her father. She manipulates all those around her. (Bright, attractive, manipulative)
MARIAN: (Age 25-40) The Ambassador's girl-friend from next door, willing to help the Ambassador act out his fantasies with costumes that range from a cocktail dress to a French maid's outfit. (Glamorous, sexy)
FAYE: (AGE 25-40) The Ambassador's secretary, is not too bright. In fact Harry suggests she hold a seance to see if she can make contact with her brain, it's probably a good idea. She breaks things, drops things and never leaves home without her own tube of super glue. (Sweet, clutzy, academically challenged)
LOIS DOUGLAS: (Age 40+) Harry's long suffering wife who manages to turn the tables on him in the final unexpected denouement. (Unassuming, a perfect wife)
THE AMOROUS AMBASSADOR…IN THE NEWS
“…it is as funny as the best of Neil Simon, but zanier.”
“From the first double entendre to the last prat fall, the talented cast kept the audience in stitches.”
Venice Gondolier Sun/ Venice, Florida
“The Amorous Ambassador is one of the funniest two hours of stage comedy.”
Midland Reporter-Telegram/ Midland Texas
“The Amorous Ambassador “ appeals as a funny show and is well worth seeing.”
The Davis Enterprise/ Woodland, California
“...by the time the night is over the audience is left roaring for what may be the birth of a new style of American theater.”
Delray Times/ Delray, Florida
“A block-buster hit”
“This fast-paced comedy had the timing down perfectly, kept us laughing throughout, and provided us with an outstanding evening of entertainment.”
The Chronicle/Homosassa, Florida
“This hilarious new comedy, spicy, but very tastefully performed will keep you in constant laughter. It is a must-see.”
Corpus Christi Caller Times/ Corpus Christi, Texas
“Amorous Ambassador uproarious”
Sarasota Herald Tribune/ Sarasota, Florida
“Puns and laughs abound. It is very funny.”
The Oakland Tribune/ Oakland, California
“The gales of laughter reached hurricane proportion.”
The Boca Rotan News/ Boca Rotan, Florida
“Hysterical – Hilarious…Comic gems…..Wonderful to behold”
“An evening of madcap merriment from start to finish.”
“Surprise ending gives the audience additional laughs.”
“Prolonged laughs and thunderous applause at the end of the show.”
The Theatre Mirror/ Newport, Rhode Island
“Amorous Ambassador is uproarious, comedic, fun.”
The Racine Journal Times/ Racine, Wisconsin
“Leikkia, lempea, liehuntaa” (We have no idea what this says….but we think it’s good)